wow. ok. been a long ass time. just checked and it's been something over 7 months. no excuses. no explanations. just is the fact as we know it.

reality is that probably no one will end up reading this and that's cool. not like i'd expect anyone to keep up with...oh...nothing. lol. but, blogger-land popped into my head and i'd figure i'd check to see if i could even still get on here. guess we know the answer now. ha!

the past little while has been not so great for me. i'm kinda going whacky. long and short of it all is that i'm not completely happy (as a whole, nothing in particular) and was told twice, in two days, by two different doctors that i need to get some form of treatment or i'm going to go insane. go. really. feel kinda already gone. trying to deal with that stuff, but still haven't seen a head dr to get help.

did however go to the dr today for my hand/wrist/thumb issues. cortizone treatment after finding out it's tendonitis and well...bad pass out session later my hand isn't reacting to shot yet (although that can take days/weeks).

my running has had it's ups and downs. i really want to run a 1/2 marathon as i've accomplished 5 and 10 k's without problem. well, the 10er in annapolis darn near killed me b/c of incline and i had to see the dr for my knees. two sessions of pt later and i know now that inclines aren't great for me. my take is so many years being as heavy as i was and there are side effects.

working on some job things for myself. i actually have something lined up, but since i've not heard about my training times, i'll just leave it there. it'll be part time and kinda random to start, but i need something to look forward to out of the house that creates income. my plan wasn't to be a stay at home mom and that's becoming clear to me now.

we're full on into speech therapy for n. he's having verbal communication delays. the boy can tell you what he wants, that's for darn sure. it's just not verbal yet. he picks up signs incredibly fast though. so that's great. we will most likely be a part of a new program for speech/language that's being used in our county. it'll actually mean a great deal of extra work/homework for me. but, i guess he's worth it...lol. can't believe he's over 20 months already. time is sure flying. oy!

the older one sure likes to give us a hard time. j just doesn't want to listen. he's so very smart, but he's not obedient. i'm not looking for a freakshow in obeying...but would love to see there be just a small sense of listening. and yes, well aware, it's our fault and somehow we set him up to think he could disregard what we say. ugh.

hubby is doing pretty well. he was promoted at work, but that meant a store not in town so having to commute. hours can be a little longer too, which didn't seem possible considering the already 10 hr minimum he was already working. but, for example, now he's doing 11 hr min shifts until at least after the holidays.

i'm in a major funk and don't much care about the fact that it's the holidays. i've not even planned out the meal or cookies or cards or a bunch of other crap. oh well. everyone will just have to deal. dealing with my inner-personal issues are kinda overwhelming me and if anyone cared to give a damn they'd probably figure it out and get it. but than again, wth do i know, right?