So I figured I'd post this because it's been on my mind anyway...

My Nana is pretty sick, she's been in the hospital for over two weeks know and they aren't able to get things under control for her. They can't stop the intestinal bleeding, they have her off some of her heart/blood meds because of it, she's on three different meds to try to control the infections...it goes on and on. I should be used to death by now, right? I mean dad died when I was 12, other relatives before and after, our family worked in the funeral business, etc. But, it's harder this time for some reason. I think it's because I have two kids, we don't live close, there are too many uncertainties about Nana's health in general. It saddens me that my kids won't know my grandparents in the way I did...the fiesty couple that was always so cute, holding hands, and being the cool ones. Nana always with the quick joke and ribbing you if needed. My kids will only know them as sick as they are. I also know that there is such a high chance that once Nana goes, Pop-pop won't be far behind, his whole life is about her and he's having a hard time with her being out of the house and his not being the sole caretaker for her right now. What will he do without her there to care for? Joe and I have talked about the need to go visit, but sadly living out of day trip range, with two kids, means that's not really a possiblity right now. So, we'll probably only be up there for a funeral. Gosh, do they even have plans for when something like that happens? I know what hotel I need to call to set up a stay when needed, it's a place that has suites and in the town over, so bringing us all up there won't be horrible on that front. But it sucks that I know that. My mind has been going nutty over this. She seemed to be doing so much better for a while and than it went downhill again. I just don't know. We've told Jackson that Nana is sick, I guess prepping him for what can happen. But this will be the first death for him, he was too young when my Aunt Janet died and doesn't remember her. Logistically, there is also the issue of my mom. I could care less, but I know she'll make it a big fiasco! Okay, just had to get that all out. Needed a little blog therapy I guess...