As of this morning I have lost 90 lbs. This weeks weigh in showed a 1.6 lb loss to reach that total. This week I was completely ready for a gain. I didn't work out at all, didn't always each in correct amounts, but I was pretty sure I stayed within my point allowance each day, especially since I tracked my foods each day with as much accuracy as possible. Well, I'll take any loss along the way and except it with pleasure.

Our local Lane Bryant finally reopened after being closed to move locations within the mall. Well, I was there the first day it opened to see what they had going on. I was so excited to be wearing a smaller size jean again, got a nice pair of jeans and tan and brown khakis. I was going to wait on all the pants, but I realized just how big the pants I was wearing were and couldn't stand having them falling off of me anymore. The thing that shocked me the most was the purchase of a denim jacket. I was so unsure as to what size I needed to wear and one of the nice ladies at the store just gave me a jacked to put on, I didn't know what size it was. Well, it was as smaller size that I would have picked for myself and it looked great. It's the one I got. I still can't believe it.

I guess losing weight like this has meant that I have to come to terms with a new body that's smaller. I'm in no way a tiny girl now. I still have a good 100 lbs to still loss, or around that amount at least. But, it's amazing to me that the sizes are getting smaller and it looks good. I'm not out of that phase of thinking that if the closes are bigger and flowy on me it will look better. Heck no. If it fits well and looks nice, that's what makes you look better.

I'm still in stuck to the news when Jackson isn't around. My heart just breaks while watching everything, I can't believe how bad it still is and will be for a long time.

Talked with my sister yesterday about of all things, religion. Now she changed religions in college and it was a big issue in our family. We had grown up in a pretty regligious household. But it amazed me while I was talking with her that she still feels that she knows a lot about the Bible and the faith we grew up in. I however don't feel that way at all. Now, maybe it was because I strayed before she did. But I think we both came to the conclusion that it had more to do with the fact that my father was the one that was more religious in our house and since he died when she was in college she had more of his influence in her life. I was 12 when Dad died and Mom wasn't one to push the topic in our house, so I never felt the same way Kristin did about our faith. During the conversation I realized how many times I have attempted to grow closer to faith, but it's been diverted for one reason or another, mostly because I wasn't ready at the time. I'm wondering if that's about to change in my life. I don't know if it's because of Jackson and my want for him to grow up in a household with strong morals and values, but whatever it is, I hope that I don't steer from the course again.