Today I got to the dr's office after days of spotting and bleeding and they did a vaginal ultrasound. They didn't see a baby. Which is what I expected, to be honest. They sent me for blood work and I go back to do more bloodwork on Wednesday. Than I'll go to the dr again on Friday to talk about the results and confirm what I already know, which is I had a miscarriage. I know they don't want to say anything conclusive without tests, but come on. Leave me having hope when I know what my body has done in the past 72 hours and know what that probably means. I've been doing my crying and grieving and just trying to deal with it.

On a related note I've been on an eating binge. They told me to not do much activity and even said I can't grocery shop (so really I can't do anything if I can't walk much) and definitely no exercise...so...what else to do to relieve stress??? EAT. This isn't going to do well for me when I start up Weight Watchers again, but as of today I'm on an eating binge and went through some food pretty fast, like a land speed record I tell ya!

Now I have to tell everyone what happened, which isn't fun. I know we told people early and now I don't know which is worse. Not telling and having to internalize this and deal with it alone. Or telling and having support from those that know what happened. Either way, it's not something fun for us right now. I guess I should get to doing those e-mails.